


Rewind

by dropletsOfJupiter



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M, Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23339815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropletsOfJupiter/pseuds/dropletsOfJupiter
Summary: NIneteen years after the season finale, Pacey and Joey's relationship is broken, but with three children and a whole lifetime of history,  the past doesn't always stay in the past.
Relationships: Joey Potter/Pacey Witter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	1. Meet The Witters

Lucy Witter stood outside Capeside high and took a deep breath. The place looked exactly the same; the same minutemen banners, the same blue and gold flags blowing in the breeze, the same faces. Time seemed to stand still in Capeside, nothing ever changed and nobody moved on; she was sure when she walked inside there would still be the same dirty looks being tossed her way, the same judgemental whisperings as she passed in the hallway, the same old small town mentality. The place never changed, but she did. Lucy Witter looked decidedly different than she had three months ago, but not enough to stop people staring. The dark hair that had once touched her elbows was gone, replaced by a short pixie cut that didn’t quite reach past the nape of her neck, her lipstick was darker, her eye liner was thicker and her girl-next-door look was gone. Lucy Witter was making a statement in her senior year and that statement was ‘back off’.

She was about to take her first step into the main building when she felt an arm drape around her shoulder, a tall and familiar figure pulled her back before she could move.

“I hope you’re ready for this,” he said. “When I walk in those doors you’re going to witness greatness. Everything you have ever known will taken away from you, your name, your identity, your reason for being. You will cease to be and will merely be known as Mikey Witter’s weird big sister.”

“Oh, you think so?”

“Yeah.” 

Lucy turned around to look at her brother. She was tall for a girl, but he had sprouted way above her eye line over the summer; it annoyed her that she had to look up to glare at him now. Now, for the first tuime ever, her little brother was bigger than herthat he was bigger than her. “Maybe you’re just going to be known as Lucy Witter’s dorky younger brother.”

“Nah.” Mikey chuckled a little and turned her around, pointing towards the other boy who stood still at the gates. “That is your dorky younger brother, or rather _our_ dorky younger brother.”

“He’s the same age as you,” she reminded him with her trademark lopsided smile. “Like literally _exactly_ the same age as you.”

“I’m nine minutes older,” he argued. “And personally, I think it shows.”

“Did I ever mention that I prefer him?”

“That guy?” Mikey scoffed. “The guy who cant even make it through the gates of high school without looking like he’s going to puke?”

“He’s nervous that’s all,” she said. “It’s totally normal for people to be nervous about high school. Not all people have your ego.”

“I’m thinking of disassociating myself from him, y’know for my reputation.”

“And how exactly are you planning on disassociating yourself from your identical twin brother?” she crossed her arms, looking amused.

“I’ll change my hair.”

“Unless you change your hair, your eyes, nose, mouth, chin, teeth and DNA I think people are going to notice that he looks exactly like you.” He dragged him towards the other boy by his hand. “Come on, we’ll all go in together.”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Well, you’re gonna. I promised Dad I would look after you two and make sure you don’t get into trouble and being late on your very first day is the perfect way to get into trouble.”

“ _You’re_ going to keep _me_ out of trouble?” Mikey laughed. “You had so much detention last year I was starting to think you had moved out, but _you’re_ going to keep me out of trouble?.”

“Dylan!” she called his name as they approached. “What are you just standing there for?”

“What if I’m dumb?’ he asked. “Miss Jenkins recommended me for special higher classes because my grades were so high, but what if I’m not smart in high school?”

“Well if you don’t come inside you’re never going to find out.” She pushed him from behind, marching him towards the main building. “Everyone knows you have a smart twin and a dumb twin and the dumb twin position has already been filled.”

“That’s offensive!” Mikey complained

“True though,” Dylan relaxed a little. “Even if I hit way below my expectations I’m still going to be smarter than you.”

“Yeah well, I’m going to get more girls than you.”

“I’m still going to have more brain cells than you, which makes me more attractive in the long run.”

“I have bigger biceps.”

“I have a bigger vocabulary”

“Sure cos that’s what girls want, vocabulary!”

“And Dad was worried you would be competitive.” Lucy stood between her brothers and linked arms with both of them. “Come on.”

They walked through the doors in to the hallway; the smell of fresh paint hitting their senses. 

“Welcome to Capeside High, boys.” She led them down the corridor. “Freshmen assembly is in the big hall just down here. I packed you both lunches with your favourite ben-10 lunchboxes and I wrote Daddy’s number inside in case you get lost and they have to call a grown up. This is where I leave you, because you two may not be able to deny your connected DNA, but I can still deny your existence.”

“Does that mean we can pretend we’re not related to you either?” Dylan sked. 

“That sounds like a good plan. I don’t know you, you don’t know me and everyone is happy.”

“That works for us.”

“Before we part ways I just want to impart some of my worldly wisdom on the two of you. Mikey, don’t do anything stupid,” she suggested. “And Dylan, don’t let him do anything stupid.”

“Lucy Witter!” 

“Oh God.” Lucy cringed inwardly at the sight of a boy walking towards the hallway. “Hi Warren.”

“How was your summer?”

“Peachy,” She gave him a tight smile. “How was Europe?”

“Very European, thank you . How was your summer waiting tables for Daddy?”

“Lucrative. I made a lot of tips.”

“I bet you did with an ass like that.”

Mikey leant on the locker, his arms crossed as he glared at the older boy, he leaned in to Dylan. “I do not like this guy.”.

“Did you want something?”

“I just wanted to congratulate you,” he said. “You must be very happy.”

“Why?”

“Well Linda Stevens moved to providence over the summer so the title is yours, I hear they’re making the name plate up right now.” He gave her an amused smile. "Congratulations, you’re officially the biggest slut in Capeside.”

Warren hit the ground with a thud as two perfectly coordinated fists came into contact with his face moments before the first bell of the year rang out. He considered getting up, but thought better of it when he saw two stony identical faces glaring down at him.

“Warren?” Lucy leant over him. “Meet my brothers.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Your first day, really?” Pacey Witter glared at his three children as they sat on the chairs outside of Principal Hill’s office looking down at their hands. “And not just the first day, no that would be too easy, no before the first bell! You’re sitting outside the principals office before you’ve even taken one class at Capeside high. Now, I get that you’re all a chip off the old block but even I didn’t do something that unbelievably stupid.” 

“Sorry.” All three of them mumbled at once, none of them able to meet his gaze.

“Sorry?” Pacey ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled to himself with an air of disbelief. “ They’re sorry.”

“Well, I would just like to add for the record that I don’t deserve to be here because this was not my fault.” Lucy turned to face her brothers. “If I wanted to punch Warren Peacock in his smug trust-fund face then I am perfectly capable of doing it myself!”

“Well we took care of it for you, no need to thank us or anything,” Mikey argued. 

“Thank you for what exactly?”

“For protecting you, for standing up for you, for showing that guy that we’re not going to stand for someone treating our sister with so little respect!” Mikey looked across Dylan at his sister. “Nobody should talk to you like that!”

“Well they do Mikey and they do it all the time so I’m pretty used to it by now. If you’re going to knock out every guy who looks at me the wrong way, or makes some comment about my chastity then you’re going to be expelled by the end of the first semester.”

“Or maybe before that.” Pacey sighed. “Principal Hill invited to me to discuss whether or not Capeside high is suitable place for you two, so if you have any input for me I would really appreciate that because right now I have no idea how I’m going to go in there and defend your gross stupidity.” 

“You would’ve done the same thing if you had heard what he said to her.” Dylan finally looked up from his swollen hand. 

“I would’ve been smart enough to put my thumb out so I didn’t break my God-damned hand,” Pacey sighed in defeat and slumped down in the seat beside them. “You can learn advanced calculus but you can’t learn how to throw a punch without breaking a bone?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“Obviously.”

“I don’t like to see her upset, I don’t want people to make her feel bad.”

“Dylan, this is high school, everyone feels bad about something.” Lucy ruffled his hair. “I don’t want you guys to risk getting thrown out of school because of me.”

“I’m sorry Lucy.” Dylan took her hand. “I promise I wont rearrange any more guys faces without your permission.”

“That’s okay.” Lucy smiled a little. “He did deserve it.”

“Y’know it was actually my punch that rearranged his face,” Mikey pointed out. “He barely scraped the guy.”

“I totally rearranged his face.”

“You bruised him if anything.” Mikey scoffed. “You stick to the books, I’ll handle the right hooks.”

“I can rearrange your face too if you like?’ The younger twin glared at his brother. “I don’t even care if i break my other hand on your jaw.” 

“Please tell me you guys aren’t arguing over who is the bigger knucklehead?” Pacey asked. “Because i call a tie, neither are you are smart right now.”

“Just tell her it was my fault,” Lucy said. “They were just trying to protect me and hey both inherited a stupid misguided hero complex from you. Say whatever you need to Dad, but don’t let her throw them out of school.”

“It’s not going to be easy. I’m pretty sure I used up all my Witter charm on her last year.”

“Mr Witter!” A small middle-aged woman stood in the doorway, arms crossed. “Back so soon, I didn’t think I’d see you till at least week two.”

“What can I say, I cant stay away from the place.”

“I’ll have to get you your own parking space.” She led the way into her office, gesturing for him to take a seat at the desk opposite her. “Or perhaps your own chair outside my office seen as you seem to be here so frequently.”

“My sons are clearly idiots.” Pacey perched on the edge of the desk.

“I wonder where they get it?”

“On a totally unrelated subject, have you seen that we have a brand new menu at the Ice House?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you should come along one night, bring Mr Hill and have anything you like on the house. In fact you do such a good job at educating the youth of Capeside that i would like to personally award you free drinks from either of my bars for the rest of the academic year because if anyone needs a drink after a long hard day in this town, it’s you.”

“Bribery?’ she asked. “Really Pacey, Is that what it has come to now?”

“Bribery? No! I’m offended that you would think so little of me Maria!”

Mrs Hill smiled a little, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms to listen to him, a look crossed her features that was a mix of amusement genuine interest. She watched him as he took a walk around her office, his attention grabbed by the pictures and decoration on her bookshelf. He stopped to look at her, his hand on his heart.  
“ After all we’ve been through together, that’s what you think of me? No, I was merely trying to offer a gesture to a pillar of the community such as yourself, a fine educator, possibly the best educator in the whole of the state.”

“I see.”

“Your generosity, passion for education and – I can’t stress this enough—your forgiving nature, really set you apart from the crowd. I really don’t know how you manage to do it and maintain such a youthful complexion. I mean if i were just ten years younger Mr. Hill would have some serious competition.”

“Mr Witter, how you never had a career in politics genuinely astounds me.” Mrs Hill sighed and removed her glasses, then looked up at him from her desk; she couldn’t help but smile. “They’re lucky to have you, because if you were any other parent I’d be sending those boys home.”

“And you’re not?”

“I want to see them in Saturday detention for two weeks and litter duty on Thursday lunchtimes. They’re on probation for one month and if they so much as sneeze in the direction of another student I will be forced to change my mind, do you understand?”

“Absolutely.” Pacey save a sigh of relief and smiled. “Thank you. They won’t let you down.”

“I get why they’re so protective over their sister and in some ways i almost admire them for it, but it wasn’t the way to go about it.”

“They won’t go unpunished at home, i promise.”

“You are a good Parent, Mr witter.” She stood up from her chair and walked around the desk to look at him; she leaned back on the desk and gave him a genuine relaxed smile. “I wish every parent cared as deeply as you do and i wish all my students had the heart that yours do, but they have to learn to reign it in. Just because you have the charm, wit and undeniable gift of the gab, doesn’t mean that everyone does, or indeed, should.”

“I know.”

“Now get out of here before I change my mind.”

“Yes ma’am.” Pacey made his way towards the door.

“And I will take that table reservation and the free bar.” Mrs Hill took a seat behind her desk and put her glasses back on. “With three Witter kids in attendance, I feel I may need it.”

  
“Welcome back Miss Witter. Good to have you back with us.”

Lucy rolled her eyes and shut her locker door, then turned slowly towards the familiar voice. “I wish that I could return your first day enthusiasm Uncle Jack.”

“That’s Mr. McPhee to you now the summer is over.”

“Sorry, Mr. Mcphee.”Lucy gave him salute started to make her way to class; it took her a minute to realise that she was being followed. “Did you have something to say, sir?

“I hear on the grapevine that you’ve already been outside the principals office today.”

“Not my fault. Dylan and Mikey took it upon themselves to turn into cavemen for the day.”

“Yeah. I did see Warren’s nose.” 

“He deserved it.”

“Look.” Jack pulled her to a stop and waited for her to turn around to face him. “This is your senior year, Lucy. There’s a lot of fun to be had but also a lot of work to put in.”

“Fun?” Lucy scoffed. “Okay.”

“There is!”

“Well, gee I'm so glad to be back Mr. McPhee. I just can’t wait for all the pep rallies, and dances and youth club meetings.” She gave him a smile that was just a little to sweet to be genuine, the gentle curl of her lip almost dripping with sarcasm as the words tumbled out. “I'm sure it will be heaps of fun.”

“Y'know, when you talk like that you sound just--”

“Don't bring her into this.” Lucy snapped a little. “I've told you, I don't want to hear that woman's name. She's dead to me now.”

“That's Harsh and more than a little over-dramatic.”

  
“No, she's harsh. She's harsh, she's cold and she is a liar.”

  
“Lucy—”

  
“No. She didn’t have any intention on seeing me or my brothers this summer, she just said she did so that we might actually think she cared, well I’m done. I needed her this year more than I have ever needed her and she wasn’t there. Do you know who was there for me?

“Your Dad.”

  
“Yes, my Dad. My Dad and you and Doug and Dylan and Mikey and Amy and sometimes Aunt Bessie, but not the one person I wanted, so forgive me if I seem a little harsh to you.”

  
“I know things haven't exactly been rosy between you two lately, but she does care.”

  
“Sure she does. That's why she moved to Boston four years ago, dumped me and my brothers on Dad so that she could go and start her new life with David and her brand new family.”

  
“She asked me to keep an eye on you this year.” A heavy silence fell between them and Lucy's eyes found her feet. “She's worried about you.”

“Well, isn't that big of her.” Lucy sighed. “You can tell her that I'm fine. I'm not going to do anything to embarrass her this year and if she really wanted to keep an eye on me she would do it herself.”

“So, you're actually planning on doing some work?”

“I'll see how I feel.”

Jack leaned into her a little, his gaze kind. “You're like a daughter to me and I don't want to see you fail. But if you don't buckle down and pull something out of the bag this year then you're in danger of getting so far behind that the only place you'll be working when you graduate is Wallmart.”

“There's nothing wrong with Wallmart.”

“You could go to college, you have the potential.”

“You know college isn’t an option for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“I Can’t leave Capeside. I’m a teenage mother who still hasn’t finished high school, with a part time job at a restaurant her father owns. I have nothing going for me that involves an education any higher than my GED.”

“There are state programmes that-- ”

“Programmes that I probably wouldn’t qualify for and I don’t want. My Dad never went to college and look how well he did?” Lucy said. “Two successful businesses, three kids that love him and a really nice fishing boat.”

“Yeah, well he’s a special case.”

“And I want to be just like him.” Lucy let a small smile spread across her lips as she saw her friends waving her over. “Excuse me sir, but I have friends to see, y’know the ones that still want to know me.”

“Just make sure you prioritise the right things this year. That’s all I ask. I have faith in you”

“Do me a favour?

“Sure.”

“Save your faith for someone who deserves it.”


	3. chapter 3

Amy jogged down towards the sign that said “Dawson’s Dock” and slapped it for good luck on the way; it was something she and Lucy had been doing since they were small. Every time they passed it they would tap it in hope it would bring them some good luck or fortune. They didn’t even know where the idea had came from initially, but now they had been doing so long it felt like a jinx if they didn’t.

“Hey!” Amy jigged towards Lucy who sat on the edge of the dock. “So what do you think?”

“Of what?”

“The outfit?” Amy paraded down the dock like a catwalk, turning at the end and coming back. To the untrained eye it was nothing special; heavy black boots with navy sweats and a navy t-shirt, all topped off with a navy beanie. The only thing that set it apart from any other outfit was the crest on the right breast pocket. “I am officially a fully kitted out member of Plymouth Police Academy.”

“You rock the look.”

“Indeed I do and I love it so much that I think I’m going to sleep in it.”

“Dork.” Lucy laughed as Amy sat down beside her and dangled her feet over the edge. “So is it anything like—”

“Do not ask me if it’s like the movies,” Amy chuckled. “Pop Pop has told you, Dad has told you and I am telling you that it is not, nor has it ever been like the movies.”

“I just enjoy the teasing opportunity.”

“It’s so much better than i thought. And I can’t even tell you how many gorgeous guys are training there this year. I may have to sacrifice my cross country time jus so I can watch them run from behind.”

“So, apart from checking out the fine male specimens and their accompanying assets, what did you do?”

“Not much, mainly just settling in today, uniforms and paperwork, that kind of thing. The ones who were living in got assigned their bunks today.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re not living in.”

“I just don’t want to.”

“Surely its all part of the experience?” Lucy asked. “I bet they have a lot of fun and all those cute guys to stare at.”

“It’s just not for me.” Amy shuffled a little closer to her best friend. “I’d rather spend my evenings annoying you, plus I learn far more by coming home every night and talking to Dad.” 

“You are such a Daddies girl.”

“To be fair, I don’t really have much of a choice, what with the two daddy situation and everything.”

“That is true.”

“Here.” Amy handed her an ID card. “Check this badboy out.” 

“Amy Witter? “ Lucy looked a little surprised. “Not LIndley?”

“Well, I thought hard about it and decided it was the name I wanted to be known by.” Amy looked down at her photograph as she took it back and ran her fingers over the writing. “I know its the only thing my mom really left me—apart from my good looks and sense of humour obviously—but I don’t think she would mind. I considered all three; Lindley, McPhee and Witter but then I thought about it and decided I’m a Witter through and through. Apart from my Auntie Andie I don’t have anything to do with the McPhee’s and I have no contact at all with the Lindley’s and never have done.”

“Apart from Grams.” 

“Yeah, good old grams, God rest her soul, but she was a Ryan anyway.”

“True.”

“I’m really more of a Witter than anything else. I see more Witters, I have more in common with the Witters and best of all, my most favourite person in the world is a Witter.” She slipped her hand into Lucy’s. “This way I can pretend we really are sisters.”

Lucy leaned her shoulder against Amy’s and smiled a little. “Witters are the best.”

“Plus, it will make Dad so happy to have a third generation police officer in the family, not to mention the first female. It feels right and I spoke to Daddy about it and he wasn’t offended or anything.”

“Well I’m happy for you.”

“So, enough about me. How was school?”

“Bad.” Lucy groaned. “So, so bad!”

“What happened?”

“Well, I had a nice lecture from your Daddy number one about not screwing up my senior year, my stupid brothers almost got expelled before the day even started and Dylan broke his hand punching a guy.”

“Dylan punched a guy?” Amy laughed, surprised. “I didn’t even think he knew how to do that!”

“He didn’t, which is why he broke his hand.”

“I wish I had brothers.”

“You can borrow mine any time you want, keep them even, i don’t mind” 

“Oh come on! You love Mikey and Dylan!”

“I do, but they piss me off so much sometimes.”

“That’s what families are for.”

Lucy’s phone rang in her pocket and she took it out to look at it; ‘MOM’ flashed up across the screen.

“I don’t know if anyone has told you, but if you swipe the screen you can actually talk to the person at the other end, it really is a miracle talking box

“Its my mom.”

“Are you going to answer it?

“Nope.” Lucy sighed and put the phone away again. “But if she calls once more I’m throwing it into the creek. That’s the fifth time today.”

“You could just try answering it,” Amy suggested. “I’m sure she will stop once she’s talked to you.”

“I don’t want to. I’m not ready to talk to her yet.”

“Look, i know you were disappointed that this summer didn’t go the way you wanted, but maybe you shouldn’t punish her so much.” Amy gave her a small smile. “She’s still your mother.”

“She abandoned me!”

“She moved!”

“I haven’t seen her for two years, Amy.” A silence fell between them for a moment. “She keeps promising but then nothing ever comes of it and i don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it.” 

“Nothing.” Amy put her arm around her and pulled her head onto her shoulder. “Are you not concerned about her?”

“Why?”

“Well, her whole personality changed, seemingly overnight.”. 

“I think she just forgot about us.” 

“No she didn’t. She’s called you five times today, that doesn’t sound like forgetting to me.” 

“I don’t want to talk to her, or see her, or think about her.” Lucy got up from the dock   
“That woman is dead to me and the sooner she stops calling me the better.”

Amy looked up at her, stunned. “You can’t mean that.” She stood up, and took both of her hands. “There’s no way you meant that.”

“Oh, i do! I don’t think i would even notice to be honest.”

Amy dropped her friends hands and shook her head, then turned around to walk away. “I have to go. I have a commute in the morning.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Whats the matter?” Amy stopped in he tracks and scoffed, shaking her head sadly. She turned back to look at her and glared at disbelief at the girl walking towards her. “You really have to ask?!”

“Yeah.”

“Your Mom is dead to you?”

“Not dead enough if you ask me.”

Amy glared at her for a moment, her eyes welling with tears before suddenly slapping Lucy across the face. Lucy found herself being knocked back, hitting her back on the post; she brought her hand to her face and covered her stinging cheek.

“What the hell was that for?!” Lucy pursued Amy down the dock as she stormed away, breaking out into run to catch her fiends hand. “What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Amy stopped and marched back. “what the hell is wrong with you?!

“You hit me!”

“Too right i hit you and i’ll do it all over again and twice as hard if you don’t leave me alone!”

“NO! You don’t just to do that and walk away!” Lucy pulled her back by her hand, yanking her towards her, pulling back when she saw the tears in her eyes. “Why are you so mad at me all of a sudden?”

“Lucy... we have been living next to each other for as long as I can remember, almost my whole life you’ve just been there and i always considered you the sister i didn’t have. We’ve sept in each others beds, climbed in each others windows, we have shared secrets we would never tell anyone else. But now I’m telling you this: that was the single most hurtful thing you have ever said in my presence and i don’t want be you sister anymore if this is who you are going to be.”

“I don’t understand!”

“Do you know how much i would love to talk to my Mom, just one time?”

“Amy—” She reached for her hand, suddenly understanding, but found it moved away before she could grasp it. 

“Do you know how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep because i needed a Mom and i didn’t have one? I was a year old when i lost her, a year old!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Just think about it for a moment. I lost Mom at the same age as your daughter is now and i don’t remember a single thing about her. I have no memories that people haven’t implanted for me and yet here you are just throwing your relationship with her away like it doesn’t even matter. Well it matters, okay?! You have a Mom, do you know how lucky you are to have a Mom?”

“I didn’t mean—"

“You never do!” Amy was shouting now and took a step closer to her. “ Do you know why i didn’t go and board at the academy? Not because i would miss my Dads or Capeside, but because i was worried about you and i thought you needed someone around right now. So now i spend an hour and a half in my car because you are more important to me than anyone else!” Amy blinked her tears away. “I’m closer to you than anyone else i know, you’re like the second half of my heart and i really wish i didn’t love you like i do because you clearly don’t care for me.”

“I do, of course i do!”

“No, you don’t love anyone but yourself. You think of nobody else’s feelings but your own and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of watching you turn into this person who is so unbelievably selfish that she cant even see that what she has is so much better than she realises.”

“Amy—”

“Screw you!”

Lucy pursued her, running in front of her to block her path, she ran backwards to stay ahead of her. “Don’t walk away like this, we don’t do this, we don’t fight. You’re my sister!”

“I’m not your sister Lucille! I’m not even your blood and for the first time in my life i couldn’t be happier about that.”

Pacey leaned back against the couch and put his legs up on the coffee table; the glass of single malt in his glass burned his throat on the way down and the sound of the television faded out in the distance as he closed his eyes. It had been a stressful day, but not the first, nor the last and as he listened to the silence of the house he took a deep breath and signed a sigh of relief. 

“Dad?” Lucy stood in the doorway, her sleeping daughter resting her pink cheek on her shoulder. “Are you sleeping?

“Nope.”

“Do you want time alone, or is it okay if we sit with you for a while?”

Pacey looked to the doorway and smiled, patting the couch beside him. “I always have time for my girls.”

Lucy smiled a little and sat down beside him, resting her head on her fathers shoulder. 

“I didn’t even hear her wake up.”

“She didn’t. I just wanted to hold her for a while.”

“Is it helping?”

“I think so.” Lucy turned her head and smiled at her sleeping daughter. “It usually does,”

“Babies have magical feel-good powers.”

“What was Amy’s Mom like?”

“Jen?”

“Yeah.”

“ She was brilliant.” Pacey slipped his arm around her. “Funny, loving, controversial, sometimes wild, brave, honest to a fault, beautiful. God, she was so beautiful.”

“Did you love her?”

“Not romantically, but yeah. Everyone loved Jen Lindley. You could always talk to her and she would never judge you unless you really deserved it. I miss her for that.”

“Amy was this age when she lost her.” Lucy ran her ginger through Joy’s fine dark hair. “I cant imagine it.”

“Yeah, she was. It was so awful to watch.” Pacey smiled sadly. “We all tried to help Jack and Doug, but she clearly missed her, even if she wasn’t aware that she missed her.”

“I can’t even imagine just leaving her when she’s like this. It scares me.”

“It scares all parents. When you were about her age you Mom had a total meltdown.”

“She did?”

“God yes. She wouldn’t leave the room, wouldn’t go out without you, wouldn’t close her eyes even. She lost her Mom young too, not as young as Amy, but too young. Leaving you terrified her.”

“What changed?” 

“Nothing changed.” Pacey dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why doesn’t she want to see me?”

“She does, but timing has never really been your Mom’s strong suit.”

“She called me five times tonight and I just ignored them. Amy said I was lucky I even had a Mom.”

“You had a fight?”

“A big one.” She could feel the heat in her eyes rising, a stinging behind her lids that wouldn’t go away. “It was such a big fight.” 

“You’re a teenager, all fights are big ones. Plus I heard it. In fact I think most of Capeside probably heard it.”

“I’m awful person.”

“You’re not.”

“I said—"

“I heard what you said.” Pacey stopped her before she could go on. “And you should be ashamed of it.”

“So you think I’m selfish too?”

“No, but i think what you said was totally thoughtless. Even if you didn’t mean to hurt her, you did.”

“I didn’t even mean it.” She closed her eye and a tear found its way down her cheek. “I don’t wish that.”

“I know. I bet she knows too.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I don’t think she’s ever going to talk to me again.”

“Her light is on, you could always go and see her.” Pacey suggested. “Throw yourself at her feet, admit to being an ass and hope she forgives you?”

“I don’t know if it would do any good.” 

“Maybe not, but it cant hurt.”

“I was thinking. “Lucy looked up into Paceys eyes. “Maybe I’d call mom first?”

“She’d love to hear from you.”

“I don’t know if I can forgive her Dad, i feel so abandoned.” Lucy sighed, slumping back down into his side. “I feel like she doesn’t care about me anymore.”

“I know, but she does i know she does..”

“Do you think i should call?”

“Yeah, I do.

“Will you put Joy back to bed for me?”

“Hand her over.” Pacey stood up and took her, waiting or her to settle back down to sleep on his shoulder for a moment before walking slowly towards the door. 

“Why don’t you hate mom?”

Pacey turned back to her and smiled. “Its impossible to hate someone you love so much. What you think is hate is actually anger and once you see past that, it’s all love.”

“You miss her, don’t you?”

“She’s my first thought in the morning and my last at night.” 

“Maybe if you told her she would come home?” Lucy suggested. “If she knew how much you love her.”

“She knows how i feel, she doesn’t need me to tell her. Besides i don’t deserve her after what i did. 

Lucy walked over to him and kissed her fathers cheek. “Maybe you should stop blaming yourself for your mistakes now.”

“There’s nobody else to blame, Lou.”

“It must make you so tired hating yourself all the time.”

“Goodnight.”Pacey turned around and walked away, his feet falling silently on the stairs. Lucy sighed and sat down on the couch and crossed her legs and dialled her mothers number. She waited six rings before the machine kicked in.

“HI mom, its just me. Lucy. I know i missed all your calls today and sent some horrible messages and i’m sorry.” A heavy pause fell between her and the machine, waiting r the next words to find her lips. “ I just miss you so much and i’m really angry. Apparently you cant hate someone you love so much, so I— i’m sorry and i love you. So just call me and we can talk, then maybe we can see each other – even if i come there or we meet half way. I need you Mom, i really do.”

Amy curled herself up in bed and watched the old home movie. Younger faces of people she knew messed around with her mother, running on the beach and splashing in the creek. The video had been put together by Dawson Leery, converted onto DVD and given to her for her tenth birthday. It was strange to see her act so carefree when she knew her life had been anything but. She could see herself in her. She had the same small frame and the same colour eyes; her skin was exactly the same tone and her lips had the exact same full bow. 

“Room for one more?” 

She didn’t need to look over to the window to see who was there, so instead she just curled further onto her side, wrapping herself up in her blanket.

“It’s crazy how alike you are.” Lucy sat on the window ledge, her bare feet cold from the ladder and watched her best friend. “Okay, so I... ’m a bitch.”

“Yep.”

“I’m selfish and thoughtless and i deserve all the hate you’re giving me.”

“Right again.”

“And what I said was hurtful and untrue and down right insensitive.” Lucy walked across the room to her bed and sat on the edge. “I don’t blame you for how you reacted and I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“I don’t want t talk to you, so if you could go away that would be just great.” 

“I called my Mom. I just wanted to say that you were right and I am lucky to have a mother so i should make an effort and stop punishing her.” Lucy sighed, then stood up and walked towards the window. ”I know you don’t want to talk now, but i just wanted to thank you for making me think and, as usual, bringing me crashing down to reality in the way only a true friend could. 

“Wait.” Amy sat up in bed and paused the home video. Pulling back the blanket, she stepped out of bed and dived across the room to catch Lucy’s hand before he left. “What did she say?

“It was her machine, but I left a message.”

“Maybe she’ll call back tomorrow.”

“Maybe.”

“Do you wanna watch this movie with me?” Amy, slipped her hand into Lucy’s and entwined her fingers. “It has your Mom and Dad being goofy in it.”

“I’d love to.”

Amy led her towards the bed and they sat down on the edge; she pressed play on the remote and pulled her blanket over their shoulders. “You look so much like your Mom.”

“You do too.”

“it’s crazy isn’t it?” She lucked her knees up to her chin and watched Jen as she was chased by Pacey around the beach. “Your Dad was so lanky then.”

“I wonder if the Caesar look was the fashion?”

“I don’t think so.” Amy laughed a little. “He was just a dork i think.”

“Your Mom was gorgeous.”

“Yeah, she was.”

“I bet she would be a proper hot Mom if she was still here.”

“I like to watch this from time to time, see if part of me can remember her, but I can’t remember anything.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lucy put her arm around her, pulling her head onto her shoulder. “I can’t imagine how hard it was losing you before you even knew her.”

“It sucks.” Amy brushed a tear away from her cheek and closed her eyes to keep the rest at bay. “Sometimes I feel so awful about missing her. My Dad’s are so good and they chose me, y’know? I’m here because they wanted me to be and I feel so loved by them.”

“You are.”

“But i can’t help but think about her and when i do i miss her, which is crazy because i dont remember her at all.”

“Maybe you do,” Lucy suggested. “Maybe deep down you do remember her, even if its just a vague memory of touch, or smell. Just because you cant recollect it doesn’t mean part of you doesn’t remember.”

“I hadn’t thought bout that.”

“I would like to think if I died tomorrow that—”

“Don’t talk about that.” Amy slipped her arm around her friends waist as she watched the video. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“I do. All the time,” Lucy confessed. “Like what people would say about me, or what she would think, whether she would remember that I loved her.”

“I know my Mom loved me. It’s the only thing i do remember. ”

“I know i’m lucky to have a Mom, but sometimes its hard to remember that she loves me.”

“Come here.” Amy pulled Lucy back up the bed and lay down, letting her tuck into her side. “You’re not allowed to die”

“i’m not?”

“Nope. Best friends always get the baby and i’m not ready for that just yet. You’ll just have to die when you’re old, preferably when i’m long gone so i don’t have to miss you.”

“ I thought you didn’t want to know me anymore. I was scared I’d lost my best friend.”

“I was mad, i’m sorry.”

“Can i sleep here with you?” Lucy asked. “I’ll let you be the little spoon.”

“As long as you don’t snore, or i’m throwing you out the window.” Amy rolled over, pulling Lucy’s arm around her waist. Closing her eyes, Amy let the video run on in the background, listening to the sound of her Mother’s voice as she drifted off into sleep. 

“Did my phone ring while I was in the shower?” Joey Potter pulled her robe tightly around herself as she walked into the bedroom. She sat on the end of the bed and pulled her hairbrush through her hair.   
“I don’t think so.” David shrugged. “Why would it?

“I swore i heard it, that’s all.”

“Are you waiting for a call?”

Joey shook her head and sighed, “I was hoping Lucy might have called, that’s all.” Joey sighed, the brush dropping down onto the bed. “It was her first day back at school today, i was hoping she would let me know how it went.”

“Well, if you ask me she’s missing out, because I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to talk to you.”

“You think so?”

“I do.” David wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek softly, their eyes meeting in the mirror. “Come on, lets go to bed.”

“Maybe i should just call her again, or maybe Mikey or Dylan?” Joey moved away from him and picked up her phone. 

“You’re not calling her. Its too late, she’ll be asleep and then she’s just going to be irritated with you.” He took the phone out of her hand and put in back on the beside table. 

“Maybe I should call Pacey.”

“Definitely not.”

“I could leave a message, or i—”

“Look.” David sighed, taking her hand and leading her towards the bed. He sat on the edge and held both her hand in his. “I wasn’t going to say anything because i didn’t want to upset you, but your phone did ring while you Were in the shower so I answered it and it was Lucy.”

“What did she say?”  
“She asked me if I would tell you not to call her or text her for a while. She needs to concentrate at school and you’re distracting her. She needs some time.”

“Did she say anything else?”

“No. Pretty negative to be honest babe. Sorry.” He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. 

“Maybe I give her a few days .”

“I tried to talk her around but she just wouldn’t have it, So I would just wait for her to get back to you when she’s ready to talk.”

“What if she doesn’t?

“She will eventually.”

“Maybe.” Joey sighed. “I just wish i knew the right thing to do.”

“I’m right,” he told her. ”I’m always right, remember?”

“Yeah.” Joey smiled a little. “You always seem to be.”

“Now, why don’t you just block out today and get into bed. “ David climbed into the bed and pulled Joey back with him, wrapping his arms around her. “You don’t need anyone part from me. Maybe they don’t get you, but i do.”

“Lucy’s my daughter.”

“So is Sasha. She’s four years old so I think she needs you a little more than someone who’s almost eighteen.”

“Trust me,” joey sighed. “You always need your mom.”

“If she needed you then she would be here, wouldn’t she?” David, pulled her robe over her shoulder. “But i’m here and i’m not leaving because I need you most and you need me.”

“I need something.”

“Y’know what your problem is?” Dave asked, pushing her onto her back. “You’re insecure.”

“Insecure?”

“Yeah.” David kissed her neck softly. “Pacey made you insecure and he uses those kids to get to you and doubt how good you are.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“I know you don’t see it because you’re on the inside, but from my point of view I see what he does. He uses his insecurities to pull you down to his level and I’m not going to let him do it.” He pressed a kiss against her lips. “You’re my wife and it’s my job to protect you from him, even if you don’t see that you need it.”

“You don’t know him like I do—”

“So you don’t think he would do that?

“no.”

“NO offence Joey, but you didn’t think he would sleep with someone else while you were still married either, but he did didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” 

“So if you were wrong about him before, you’re probably wrong now.” David slipped his hand around her throat. “Unless you think I’d lie to you?”

Joey shook her head, feeling the pressure of her hand against her neck intensify a little. “No.”

“Good.” David kissed her lips softly. “I’d hate for us to fall out again, you know this kind of stuff makes me angry.”

“I—I know. I’m sorry.” Joey moved his hand away from her throat slowly. “You’re right, Pacey is probably behind it, i’m just being stupid.”

“ Yeah, you do that a lot.”


	4. Chapter 4

16 years previously: Witter family kitchen

Pacey Witter stood in the doorway and watched his wife expertly flip a pancake; he studied her closely as she tossed it high for their daughters amusement and caught it before returning the pan to the heat. Joey Potter- or Witter as she was now known- was a total Goddess; her hair might have been tied into a messy bun and her tank top may have been stretched to its limit over her rounded belly, but the woman was beautiful. She padded around the kitchen in her bare feet and delivered another breakfast pancake to their two year old daughter who sat carefree in her chair before turning her attention back to the stove. 

“Are you just going to stand there and stare all day Witter?’ Joey asked without looking. “I can feel you watching me.”

“Well, that’s because I’m looking at the woman of my dreams.” Pacey said, walking up behind her and catching her in an embrace; he rested his head on her shoulder, his lips brushing her ear. “Are you not aware that I’m the cook around here?”

“I am indeed aware of that, thank you Mr Witter.”

“Then why are you stealing my job?”

“I have to,” she said simply, smiling as she felt a kiss just behind her ear. 

“And whys that?”

“Because you wont let me go to work.”

“Stop twisting my words.” Pacey pressed a kiss against her neck, slipping his hand underneath her tank top to rest his hand against her stomach. “i didn’t say you couldn’t go to work, I just said it was better if you didn’t drive all the way to the office. They said you can work from home.”

“And have you seen what they count as working from home, Pacey?”

Pacey groaned, his head dropping onto her shoulder. “Not this again.”

“Fillers!” Joey slipped away from his embrace to tidy away some of the breakfast dished into the sink. “Yard sale notices, short stories, horoscopes’ and worst of all – and i mean the very bottom of the barrel—real life stories.”

“Your editor explained that—”

“Oh yeah, apparently old Mrs. Witter is too fragile to edit hard hitting journalism these days—"

“No.” Pacey pulled her back towards him and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s because you’re pregnant and ready to pop. And boy do I mean Pop!” He stretched out his fingers, trying as he might to cover the entirety of her baby bump.

“And that means i’m incapable does it?” she tried to get out of his grip, but found herself pulled back into his embrace.

“No, it means that you’re likely to go into labour in the middle of anything too lengthly without finishing it, so he put you on—"

“My career has been reduced to tales of ducking’s being found in a barn protected by a pig and a goat. Its like family favourite film that nobody wants to see—”

“I’d watch it, A Pig, a Goat and a cute baby ducking? That’s got family block buster written all over it.”

“The point is that they’re always written by some yokel who thinks—"

“Joey—” 

“No, i’m not finished. They’re always written by some yokel who wouldn’t know what artistic flair was if it jumped up and bit them in the—”

Pacey interrupted her again, smiling. “Okay, I get it, you can stop talking now.”

“No,” Joey said petulantly.

“If you don’t stop talking i’m going to have to stop you from talking by force.”

“I will not be silenced.”

“Really?” Pacey spun her around, pressing kisses underneath her jaw. 

“I refuse to edit any more farmyard tales, lovey stories about long lost love reunited or—”

Pacey’s lips found hers, his hand cupping the back of her head while the other reached behind her to turn off the stove. He smiled into her lips when he felt her surrender, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Her fingers found their way into his hair, pulling his lips closer. 

“You’re very beautiful, you know that?” pacey smiled against her lips, kissing her once more.

“Stop trying to charm me. Yesterday you called me fat!”

“I did not call you fat,” Pacey denied. 

“You said that I was substantial.”

“Okay, so I admit that was a very bad choice of words.”

“Too substantial to drive the truck and if i wanted to go out you would have to tie me in the back like a hog!”

“A prize hog!” Pacey kissed her scowl away. “ The most quality kind of hog. And it was a joke.”

“Well it wasn’t funny.” She pushed him to arms length. “At all!”

“Sure it was,” Pacey chuckled. 

“Well, it didn’t feel funny, Pace.”

“Joey.” He took a step back and exposed her rounded belly. “You’re comically massive.”

“Hurtful!”

“You’ve got two Witters in here, that’s a lot of baby.” He kissed her lips softly. “You’re comically massive, but also extremely beautiful.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“I take full responsibility, in fact i very much enjoyed putting them in there.” Pacey smiled through the slap that appeared on his chest before pulling her close again

“Yeah, you put them in there but you cant get them out. Oh no, that’s my job!”

“That’s hardly my fault. If you want to blame anyone for that then you blame mother nature. I keep telling you that its physically impossible for me to give birth.”

“Lucy was a week and a half early and she was eight and a half pounds!”” Joey glared at him “Eight and a half pounds!” 

“Witters have big babies.”

“Then your mom came in here, into our home with a casserole topped with Doritos i may add—”

“Unforgivable, i agree.”

“She came in, took one look at her and commented on how tiny she was. Well I tell you Pacey ,she did not feel tiny on the way out!”

“The Doctor said they wont be that big because twins are generally smaller and come earlier.”

“Normal twins, not Witter twins with their massive heads.”

Pacey laughed, attempting to pull her into a kiss.

“I mean have you seen your family portraits pace? Heads the size of watermelons, all of you!” 

“Now who’s being hurtful?”

“Sorry.” Joey gave him a lopsided smile, wrapping her arms around him. “I love your watermelon head.”

“They will be here soon, watermelon heads and all.”

“Yeah well they cant come soon enough. Bevis and Butthead in there moved around all night like they were break dancing, i swear my insides are bruised and—”

Pacey muffled her words with a kiss. 

“You can’t do that.”

“Do what?” Pacey feigned innocence, pressing a kiss against her shoulder

“Just Kiss me every time i—”

Pacey kissed her again, his hand slipping to cup he cheek and once again she pulled him close, surrendering entirely. “Don’t you have a restaurant to run or something?”

“I’m the boss,” he reminded her “I can rock up whatever time i like and right now I have decided that I am going to be very late today.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I’m far too busy at home today making out with my substantially beautiful, radiantly pregnant wife.” He pressed a kiss against her cheek.

“Lucky wife.” Joey wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Luckier husband, believe me.” Pacey pulled her into a tender kiss, his hands cupping her face while her arms wrapped around him and pulled her close. He was squashing her but she didn’t care. It was moments like this that reminded her why she moved back to the cape and gave up her New York City life. Joey Witter’s career may be smaller than she had first imagined, but her life certainly made up for it. 

“Hey!” Pacey jumped back a little and looked down at Joey’s stomach. “They kicked me.”

“Welcome to the club buddy.”

“We’re going to have words about this.” Pacey kneeled down in front of her and put both hands on her stomach, one either side. “Okay boys, listen up this is your father. Now i understand its getting a little cramped in there now, but you’ve only got four more weeks left maximum before you’re out here in the real world and Daddy won’t have much time to make out with mommy in the kitchen then. Now, I get that it doesn’t mean much to you right now because your whole would is just floating around, growing and kicking stuff, but when you’re men you will understand how important making out with a hot woman is. So I’m begging you guys just to give me a break.”

Joey ran her fingers through Pacey’s hair. “While your down there could you ask them to stop treating my bladder like a bounce house?”

“You heard the pretty lady, no bladder jumpin’.”

Joey watched him kiss her stomach twice before he stood up pulled him back into a kiss. “You’re cute y’know?”

“Yeah?” pacey smiled. “I could stay home with you today.”

“No way, I have daytime tv to watch and you’ll mess with my schedule, plus know what your ‘stay home’, means and that is not happening.”

“I could take Lucy over to Doug’s then come back and we could spend the day n bed. I mean, I cant get you any more pregnant, right?”

“I don’t even know if we still can pacey.”

“I’m very resourceful.” He pressed a kiss against her neck. “i’m sure there’s some angle that we could—"

“No.” She kissed him quickly. “Not happening. The shop is closed until further notice,. My back hurts when i walk, i cant go five minutes without having to go pee and i can no longer wear shoes because i cant see my feet. I don’t know if i’m ever going to let you near me again.”

“Sure you will.” 

“Nah-uh”

“Maybe when this is all done i’ll put another one in there.”

“What, so you can keep me bare foot and knocked up? I don’t think so buddy.” Joey pushed him away. “ We’re already going from one child to three in a matter of weeks, imagine if we had triplets next time?!”

“What?” Pacey couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I’m serious, What if it goes up one baby every time?” 

“I don’t think it works that way.”

“Before you know it we have 10 kids with massive watermelon heads, we’ll have to go out in a mini van and have a lifetime supply of diapers, kindly supplied by the sponsors of our lifetime tv show about families who just cant stop breeding.”

“Do you think there’s even the slightest possibility that You’re over reacting.” Pacey asked. “Just a tiny little bit?

“I am not over—"

Pacey kissed her. “ Really?”

“Well, maybe a little but i’ve earned that right Pacey. By the end of this month i will have squeezed out three Witter heads the size of watermelons and for what?” 

“Because you cant keep your hands off me?”

“I can so, you and your watermelon head aren’t that irresistible.”

“Really?” Pacey pursued her around the kitchen, pulling her back against him. He kissed her neck, then turned his attention back to her lips, turning her head to the side so he could kiss her. 

“Well.” Joey turned back to him and slipped her arms around him, her fingers finding flesh underneath his shirt. “I do admit that you have your certain appeals, I suppose.” 

“What did i do to get a woman like you?”

“I have no idea, you really don’t deserve me.”

“Oh, definitely not.”

“I could do better.” Joey pressed a soft kiss against his chin. “But i guess i’ve put too much time and energy into you now, it would be a shame to trade you in for a better model.”

“Good job I love you, Witter.” 

“Are you ever going to go to work?”

“ Well as we’ve ruled out the whole bed thing, i suppose i should show my face.” He kisses her once more before walking away from her and picking Lucy up who grabbed onto her last pancake to take with her. “ Come on Lucy-Lou, you’re going next door to play with uncle Douggie and cousin Amy. Wont that be fun?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah!” Pacey repeated. “But don’t Let him dress up up in any feather boa’s and reinact any musicals, okay? That’s exploitation.”

“Have a good day.”

“I’ll try.” Pacey kissed her one more time and let it linger just for a moment, Lucy hanging off his hip. “I’ll bring home dinner and—because i am a wonderful husband – chocolate lava cake” 

“I have never loved you more.”

“Love you too.” 

“Love you too,” Lucy echoed, grabbing her mothers face for a kiss.

Joey watched them as they disappeared out the back door and smiled. She put her hand on her stomach and rubbed it lovingly.   
“Now, that man is your father and is probably the best man you will ever know, nobody in the world will love you as much as he will, apart from maybe me. Get it?” She waited for a kick in acknowledgment. “Now come on boys, lets go waddle into the living room, I’m going go introduce you to an alien today and a boy called Elliott.”  
*******

Joey smiled a little of the memory that had suddenly popped into her head half way between making coffee and thinking about what to make her family for breakfast. In the Coopland household breakfast was a very different kind of affair to the Witter one. It generally consisted of a slice of toast or a bowl of cereal, washed down with a coffee to go or an orange juice. It seemed they just didn’t take the time to properly eat breakfast anymore, not like the Witter house where it was definitely the most important meal of the day. Her thought drifted back to her estranged husband again and the way he made breakfast special before running out to work and wished, just for a moment, she had some of that life back again. It would never happen though, their lives were now too different and while he stayed in Capeside, Joey had fled to Boston on her wedding day with David, an environmental lawyer with a booming practice and her their daughter, Sasha.

Today was the day breakfast changed. Her mother had always told her that breakfasts were the heart of the day; maybe the only chance in the day where everyone could congregate and socialise and it was always with pancakes. Lilly Potter truly believed a pancake house was a happy house and it was a belief she had always followed, that was until Boston. This house was not a pancake house, nor was it a particularly happy house, but Joey wouldn’t stop trying and this morning she was going to make pancakes. 

Joey spotted what she was looking for and stretched out to reach the syrup at the back of the cupboard, knocking a can of beans out of the cupboard and onto her bare foot in the process. 

“Son of a--” Joey stopped herself from swearing. “Gun.”

“What happened?” David barely looked up from his newspaper at the table,

“Knocked some beans onto my foot when I was trying to reach the syrup.”

“Maybe that’s because you were a million miles away.” David closed his paper and walked over to fill his travel cup with black coffee. “What were you thinking about?”

“Pancakes.” Joey continued to get the ingredients out that she needed. “I want pancakes today.”

“Pancakes?” He asked with a sigh. “Really?”

“Yeah, pancakes.”

“I don’t see why you’re so obsessed with them, they’re really not even that great and not as nutritious as a regular high-fibre cereal.”

“My Mom—”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” He groaned. “ Your Mom said a happy home has pancakes or something, but your cooking skills are definitely better suited to cereal. Your idiot ex-husband was a chef, you most certainly are not honey.”

“Yeah.” Joey gave him a tight smile. “Maybe this house just isn’t a pancake house.”

“Exactly.” 

“Cereal it is Sasha!”

“Well, I’m going to work. I might be late back I don’t know yet, but I’ll call to let you know what time I need dinner.” David grabbed his left over toast from his plate and Kissed Sasha on her head, then waved to Joey from the door. “Later.”

“Bye.” 

Joey watched him walk along the corridor and listened to the door shut, then waited for a moment as she heard his car roll out the driveway and smiled. “Not a pancake house my ass!”

Joey walked back into the kitchen and picked Sasha up, sitting her onto the bench. “Do you think this is a pancake house, Sash?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. 

“Don’t tell Daddy, okay?” She pressed her forehead against her daughter’s and they both smiled exactly the same giddy smile. “You wanna whisk?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Joey busied herself getting bowls and whisks out of the cupboard before looking in the fridge for the rest of the ingredients. “Now this recipe is a very special recipe.”

“Why?”

“Well because when I was little just like you my Mom used to make me, my Dad and your Aunt Bessie pancakes every single day. And they were absolutely delicious, the best ones in Capeside. Then quite a few years after that a very good friend of mine decided to add something else into it and made them even better. He has a culinary award on his restaurant wall exclaiming that he makes the best Pancakes in the whole of Massachusetts.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah. So, because we were such good friends he gave me this recipe and now i can make you the best pancakes in the whole of Massachusetts too.”

“What’s his special ingredient?” Sasha asked, wide eyed. 

“That would be telling. But, do you know what else he always put in his pancakes to make them taste so good?”

“No.”

“Love.” She smiled. “He always put love into his pancakes, he puts love into everything which is why everything he makes tastes so good.” Joey’s smile faded. “But we are all out of blueberries, what’s say we go to the market and pick some up?”

“Yeah!”

Joey put on her coat and looks in the mirror, picking out a scarf up to hide the bruise marks on her neck. She took a deep breath and puts on a smile, then helped Sasha on with her coat. Sasha slipped her hand into her mothers and they set out on foot towards the market. 

“Can we go and see your friend one day?” she asked.

“Pacey?” Joey smiled. “I’d love to. I keep trying honey, but something always gets in the way. We were supposed to go in the summer.”

“Then you broke your arm on the stairs?”

“Yeah.” Joey sighed, her eyes starting to sting with the memory. “Yeah that was a really missinfortunate accident i had and just at the wrong time, too.”

“You’re better now though.”

“Yeah, I am better now.”

“Then we could go?” she asks. “We don’t need to tell Daddy.”

“He would find out sweetie.” Joey sighed. “And then he would be really mad and i really don’t like to make him mad.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Sasha held her mother hand tighter.” I don’t like Daddy being mad at you.”

“Me either.”

Joey held her daughter’s hand as they crossed the road, swinging their hands between them. She took a look at the large house over her shoulder and sighed. Sasha’s life was full of everything she needed apart from one thing. Sasha Coopland didn't now know the love of a Pancake house.


	5. chapter 5

Joey sat out in the garden, her glasses pushed down the bridge of her nose a little as she worked between her notes and her laptop, aimlessly taking a drink of coffee. It was a nice little garden, nothing like the views from her old house in Capeside, but it was peaceful. It was only really a little decking with a small square of grass and a flower patch; an old greenhouse stood unused at the back of the garden, left over from David's brief obsession with growing his own food. The swing set that sat on the square of grass swayed gently in the light summer breeze. Even at two in the morning she found it peaceful.

She stopped typing for a moment and looked down at her phone beside her. It was too late to call; everyone would be asleep, or trying to sleep, but she wasn't going to be able to even try and rest until she had called. She walked over to the door and closed it, then sat back down at the garden table that had become a make-shift summer office and picked up her phone. Joey chewed on her fingernails a little as she heard the line ring out and had almost given up hope and come to peace with leaving a rambling message on his machine when she heard a groggy voice at the other end of the line.

“Hello?” Pacey sounded half asleep. She could almost imagine him lying there, head still on the pillow, his eyes closed as he spoke.

“Hey, it's just me.”

“Oh, hey.” Pacey's voice became a little stronger and more attentive. “What time is it?”

“I'm a little scared to answer that.”

“It's--” he paused, then sounded surprised when he spoke again. “Are you kidding me, Potter?”

“Did I wake you?” Joey asked guiltily.

“No, no. you're okay.”

“Liar.”

“I wasn't fully asleep, just like eighty-five percent.”

“Sorry.” Joey cringed inwardly. “I shouldn't have called so late.”

“Don't worry about it.” A rustling came through the phone, the sound of Pacey sitting up in bed. “Now, did you just call to stop me from being able to function tomorrow or did you have an actual non-sadistic reason for calling so late?”

“Ill call back tomorrow, I'm sorry pace.”

“No, no, no, don't hang up,” he said quickly. “I'm up now, what's up?”

“I just wanted to ask how the kids were at school this week? It was on my mind and I couldn't sleep, so--”

“They were fine.” Pacey interjected, cutting her rambling short. “I presume Dylan told you about his foray into physical violence.”

“He did.” Joey groaned and sat back in her chair. “Witter boys huh?

“We are just the worst.” Pacey chuckled. “He’s stayed on the path of the straight and narrow all week though and Mikey is putting all his energy into training for football try-outs next week so—”

“football try-outs?” Joey found herself a little speechless. “When did he start playing football?

“Well Jack started coaching him over the summer to try and err-“

“Try and what?”

Pacey sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. “Okay, so when you cancelled the summer plans none of the kids took it too well and Mikey started getting into trouble, so Jack thought it might steer him in the right direction to have a focus and it worked great.”

“You didn’t tell me that.”

“Honestly Jo, you weren’t the easiest person to get hold of this summer so I was kinda by myself on dealing with it.”

“I’m sorry Pacey.” Joey’s voice weakened a little, an audible shake grabbing hold. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, but you gotta know Jo, the kids were all really hurt.”

“Things just weren’t good here Pacey. A lot of fighting and shouting.”

“You should’ve said.”

“David is really getting so—” She put her hand against her cheek, remembering the bruises that she had only just got over; underneath her concealer a light green shadow still remained. She released a deep shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment in hope that she could control it . 

“Getting what?” Pacey prompted, his voice attentive. 

“It’s just bad here, okay?”

“Are you okay Jo?”

“I—” Joey sighed. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine to me, you sound upset.”

“I’m not upset.” Joey lied, taking a final steadying breath. “I’m okay really, it’s just been a tough few months. So tell me about Lucy’s first week.”

“If there was something you wanted to tell me, you could Joey. You know that, don’t you?” Pacey waited for a moment, but Joey fell silent on the other end of the phone. “Even if it was just to get it out, even if there’s nothing I could do, I’ll always listen to you.”

“Really Pace, there’s nothing to tell.”

“Okay.”

“So, what about Lucy?”

“Lucy and both the boys have detention tomorrow. The boys because of the whole fisticuffs thing and Lucy because.” Pacey chuckled a little. ”Well, that girl is physically incapable of keeping her snark to herself.”

Joey smiled a little, taking her glasses off and leaning back in the chair. “Now who does that remind you of?”

“It could be either of us really.”

“Both even.”

“That too.” Pacey chuckled. “Both of us have that problem from time to time., but that girl takes it to a whole new level.”

Joey could feel Pacey's warmth through the phone. No matter how long they had been together, or apart, Pacey Witter always had a way of making her feel at ease. She felt like she was back in Capeside again, sitting on the dock with her feet dangling into the calm water. If she closed her eyes she could just imagine she was back there.

“I called her, did she tell you?” Joey asked after a moment of silence.

“She did.”

“She wouldn't speak to me.”

“She wouldn’t?” Pacey sounded surprised. “She told me that she was going to call you .”

“She did, but just to tell me to go away. That was Monday, then today I just got a passive-aggressive message about not talking to liars, deserters and/or toxic people.” Joey's voice cracked a little. “I can’t believe that I've screwed up so badly that she thinks that about me. I cant believe I've failed her so much that she would think me toxic.”

“Please don't get upset,” Pacey’s voice soothed her. “She'll get over it in time.”

“I don't know that she will.”

“She misses you.” He tried to reassure her. “She really misses you, Jo. I know it doesn’t seem like it and she would rather die than admit it to you, but she really does.”

“I wanted to be there this summer, Pace, I did. I wanted to see them all, but I didn't want them to see what was going on between me and David.” She rubbed her tired eyes. “We just fight all the time.”

“We fight all the time,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, and we got divorced for that very reason.”

“You know that's not why were divorced.” Pacey sighed heavily. “Fighting is mutual, our divorce was all me.”

“We're not going to get into a deep conversation about this are we, because I don't have any wine left open and I really don't think it's acceptable for me to start drinking at this time of the night.”

“No, it's OK.” Pacey chuckled a little. “I don't want to drive you to drink or anything.”

“I was thinking that Sasha and I might come and visit Capeside this weekend, if you have room for us?” Joey suggested. “She’s desperate to try your pancakes.”

“You know we always have room for you and always have plenty of pancakes.”

“I have some time off work,” Joey hesitated a little, looking back over her shoulder for a moment. “Could we possibly stay a week?”

“The kids would love that.”

“And you?”

“I’d tolerate that.”

Joey smiled. “Gee, thanks.”

“And David?” Pacey asked. “Because I'm not sure I can tolerate his smarmy attitude without slipping arsenic into his coffee, or y’know, a carving knife into his back or something.”

“I need a break from him.” She admitted, a log slow sigh escaping her lips. “I need to get out of Boston and I need to see my kids and deal with things that I've been avoiding. I need to try and fix our daughter.”

“It'll be okay. She'll get over it.”

“You can't just keep saying she'll get over it, Pace. You don't know that I haven't done her irreparable damage to her psyche by being someone she can't rely on when I'm the one person she should be able to rely on. What if I damage her relationship with Joy because I'm so inept at being maternal?”

“Joey—”

“I mean, what if the reason I'm so bad at being maternal was because my mother died before I reached the stage of my life where I really needed her for more than just keeping me alive?”

“You're so attractive when you speak like you've swallowed a dictionary.” Joey could hear his smile in his voice. 

“If you were here I would throw something at you.”

“If I were there I'd just duck.”

“Y’know it is very inappropriate to flirt with your ex-wife at two in the morning.”

“Then call earlier next time.”

Joey’s smile grew and she ran her fingers through her hair. “Y’know, I hate you so much.”

“You love me really,” Pacey said. Joey could tell he was smiling.

“Oh, I do?”

“Yeah, I'm a loveable clown.”

“Well, you're definitely a clown, I'm not sure if I would really call you loveable.” Joey teased.

“You married me.”

“I also divorced you,” she reminded him, smiling when she heard him laughing through the phone. “I'm so glad the kids have you. They deserve at least one good parent.”

“They have two of those Jo, you just gotta get back in the game.” Pacey said, his serious tone returning. “You need to show them that you're there for them like I know you are. You have to stop letting David dictate to you.”

“He doesn't dictate to me,” Joey argued.

“So, he wont try and stop you visiting this weekend?”

“No. I'll be there,” she promised. “Next Friday night, it might be late though.”

“You know where the spare key is.”

“In the porch, I know.”

“If you don't come I don't know long how I can keep defending you. Lucy will get over this, but you need to be here, Joey. She needs to know that you haven't given up on her.”

“You know I would never give up on her.”

“Of course I do, but I'm not sure she does.”

“I'll be there,” she said firmly. “Leave it with me. I’ll be there come hell or high-water.”

“I’m worried about you, Joey.” Pacey said. 

“Why?”

“Well I’m always a little worried about you, but after this conversation I’m very worried because I feel like there’s a lot you’re not telling me.” 

“We’ll talk this weekend Pace. I’m making some changes that we need to discuss.”

“Are you leaving him or something?’ Pacey waited for an answer, but nothing ever came. “You are aren’t you, you’re leaving him?”

‘I don’t know.”

“But you want to?”

“Yeah.” Joey sighed heavily. “I mean no. God, I don’t know, maybe?”

“That sounds like the sort of thing you have to figure out.”

“If i do—”

“I have the room.” Pacey answered without even having to hear the question. “I always have the room. Judgement and obligation free”

“Thanks.”

“I love you, Jo.”

“Pacey—” Joey closed her eyes to try and shut her thoughts out.

“I mean it.”

“I know you do and I do too Pace, I mean I really, really do but—”

“And I’m not saying that for any reason other to remind you that.” Pacey sighed heavily. “I care about you Potter and if things are going wrong for you somehow, you just need to call me and I’ll be there for whatever you need.”

“I know.” Joey smiled softly. “You don’t need to tell me that for me to know, i just wish i knew what to do, because i have no idea what I’m going to do.”

“Whats going on there?”

“I don’t live in a pancake house, Pace.”

“Well, that makes no sense.” He laughed a little. “What does that mean?”

“Believe me it makes even less sense to me. I had a pancake house in Capeside and I guess I didn’t really get that it wouldn’t translate to a Bostonian way of life as much as I wanted it to.”. 

“At some point I’m going to learn how to translate your brain, Potter.”

“Out of everyone in this world, I would say that you can translate my brain better than anyone.”

“What are you doing out here?” David appeared in the doorway, his arms crossed as he leaned against the door frame and Joey froze. “Who are you talking to at this time of night?”

“I was just –“ Joey hesitated. “I just needed to--”

“You need to come to bed.” David took a step towards her and took the phone from her hand. “Who is this?”

“David!” Pacey sighed. “How’s things in Boston?”

“What are you doing calling her at this time?”

“Well--”

He didn't let Pacey finish his explanation. “Some people like to sleep.”

“Believe me, I know. I would kinda like some sleep myself’”

“Don't call late again. In fact, just don't call again.”

“David!” Joey protested as she watched him hang up. “What are you doing?”

“What did he want?”

“I called him,” she corrected. “I needed to discuss Lucy, it was her first week back at school.”

“So?”

“So I wanted to know how she was coping.” Joey stood up, standing behind her chair. “It's hard for her.”

“You know I don't like you talking to him.”

“He's the father of my children, not to mention one of my oldest friends.” Joey argued, her voice raising a little to match her husband's tone. “I can't just not speak to him because you don't like him.”

“So, you're saying that he means more to you than I do?” He took a step towards her and Joey took a tighter hold of the table in front of her as she stood.

“I didn't say that!”

“You didn't deny it either.”

“And I shouldn't have to.”

“You want to get your priorities in order.” He jabbed his finger at Joey, advancing towards her. “I'm your husband, not him!”

“Oh, and don't I know it!” 

“He betrayed you, Joey.”

“Don't you think I remember that?” Joey shot back, taking a step away. “I was there.”

“I'm the only one you can trust. I'm the only one who really knows what's good for you.” he took hold of her shoulders and gripped tightly as he looked at her, his face thunderous. “Why don't you understand that I'm just trying to love you?”

“I do.” She squirmed a little, but his grip grew tighter, hard fingers pressing into her skin.

“Then why are you making it so difficult?!”

Joey opened her mouth to reply, but lost her train of thought when she heard their daughter's cry from the open window upstairs. “Great! Now you've woken Sasha with your screaming!”

“I wouldn't need to shout at you if you were a better wife and put me first for a change!” He let her go, pushing her back a little until the fence stopped her.

“My children come before any thing and any one!”

“Even Sasha?”

“Sasha included.” Joey looked up at the window; the little girls screams giving way to calls for her mother. “She's calling for me, I better go settle her.”

“No.” David pushed her back a little. “I'll do it. If you like being outside at two in the morning so much, let's just see how you like sleeping out here.”

“Fine!” Joey crossed her arms across her chest stubbornly. “Anything if it means I don't have to share a bed with you!”

“Fine by me.” David picked her phone up from the table. “And stop talking to him.”

“You can't actually stop me from contacting my family.”

“He’s not your family, I am!”

“He’s the father of my children”

“So am I Joey, but you seem to forget that more and more these days.”

“Oh, believe me I remember.” Her stare was col her jaw set. She walked back towards him. “I know exactly who you are.”

“And who am I Joey?”

“You’re my very own personal jailer!” Joey slapped away his hand as he raised it towards her face. “You’re an evil sadistic bastard who takes pleasure in hurting people, a man who despite claiming to hate him, is becoming exactly like his drunk, abusive father!”

“I’m not becoming him!” David grabbed hold of her wrists and twisted then until she cried out, forcing her back against the fence. 

“look in the mirror David!” Joey fought back against him, gaining no ground against his angry strength. “Look in the mirror and tell me you don’t see him staring back at you.”

David’s face was thunderous, his jaw set; he released her from his grip pushing her back hard against the fence, then raised his arm back and wiped her out with the back of his hand. He watched her fall and get up, then pushed her again, throwing her down onto the pathway between the decking and the rose garden. 

“Are you done?”

“David—” Joey’s head was light, blood seeping out from a deep cut on her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

David grabbed her shirt, curling the material into his hands and threw her back down again, watching her head as it hit the concrete with a dull thud. He left her there ad walked away, closing the door and locking it behind him.

Joey watched him go, unable to find the strength to move, then blinked the pain away as her vision gave away to darkness.


	6. chapter 6

Rewind Chapter 6

Mikey Witter Panted a little as he jogged towards his house and came to a sudden stop. He leaned over to try and catch his breath, bracing his hands on his knees for a moment until he could breathe properly. He had started to see his hometown in a whole new light since he had started running; views he had never seen in his life had appeared out of nowhere and the place that he had always seen as a boring sleepy town now had a new lease of life.

He wiped the sweat away from his brow with the back of his hand and ran his fingers through his hair before walking into the kitchen. The room was full of warmth, the smell of pancakes and coffee mingling in the air as his family sat around the table in the middle of the room sharing breakfast.

“I wondered when you would join us.” Pacey put a pancake down on the plate in front of him. “You were up early today.”

“No time for breakfast Dad, I gotta shower before school.”

“Ah yes, Saturday has become school day six. The proudest day of my life when all three of my children have detention on the first Saturday of the semester.”

“Don't remind me,” Lucy groaned. “I have far better things to do in a Saturday.”

“Like what?”

“I was supposed to be going to the movies for a matinee with Amy, but we’ll have to go later.”

“No.” Pacey laughed. “Nice try, though.”

“What?”

“You're on house arrest, remember inmate?”

“No, you said straight home after school every day, today is a Saturday.”

“And you’re going to school aren’t ya?”

“Yeah but—”

“Then I rest my case.”

“This is so unfair,” Lucy moaned, sticking her fork into her pancake angrily.

“Well if you hadn’t done something so stupid then you might be getting a Saturday to go movie watchin with your little buddy, so let that be a lesson.”

“I don’t see what was so wrong about what I did to Mr. Myers, I mean I did the homework he just didn’t like the answer.”

“Well next time why don’t you use your algebra skills in a way that doesn’t include presenting a formulae to your new math teacher that, when solved, spells out ‘eat my ass’. That might be a good start.”

Dylan laughed quietly into his breakfast, shaking his head in amusement. “Classic, Lucy.”

“What are you laughing at?” Pacey questioned.

“It’s creative Dad, you gotta admit it.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t creative, I just said it was stupid, like punching a guy with you thumb inside your fist is stupid.”

“I’m going to fix that,” Mikey said, rising from his chair. “Tomorrow I’m going to school him in how to throw a punch, not just for himself, but also to save my reputation because I can’t have a brother that is incapable of taking care of himself.”

“I’m not finished with you.” Pacey placed his hand on his son’s shoulder, sitting him back down. “Where were you this morning, did you forget you were on house arrest, too?” 

“I went for a run with Uncle Jack. The last time I checked, even prisoners were allowed exercise, ” he explained. 

“Out of bed on a Saturday before noon of your own accord?” Pacey sat down next to him. “Who are you and what did you do to Mikey?”

“It’s all part of my new routine I'm an aspiring athlete now and I gotta start to look after myself.”

“Aspiring athlete?” Lucy chortled and Dylan looked over the table at her for a moment before joining in. 

“Laugh all you want but I have Try-outs next week, i gotta be in top physical form if I expect to get a spot, especially as a freshman.”

“Don’t you think you’re pushing it a little hard?” She asked. “Its high school football, not the Olympics.”

“What are your great aspirational plans then this year, huh?”

“Meaning what?”

“Well, I’ve got football and Dylan probably has some kind of geeky club thing on the horizon, what are your plans for your high school experience?”

Pacey wached on amused. “Yeah Lucy, what are your plans for your senior year high school experience?”

“I plan to have a good time.”

“Yeah, because that's what all good colleges are looking for on an application.”

“WE need to talk about the whole college thing--"

“God!” all eyes in the room turned onto Jack who clung breathlessly to the doorframe. “What happened to setting a pace?”

“What happened to following it?” Mikey smiled. “Was I too fast for you, or is it an age thing?”

“I'll have you know that I am in prime physical condition.” Jack grabbed his side as he staggered into the kitchen and threw himself into an empty chair. 

“Morning Jack.” Pacey laughed, standing up to pour him some water. “Nice run?”

“Run?” Jack repeated. “Run?! Try sprint! I’ve created a monster.” 

“You brought it all on yourself. You were the one who decided that running was a good exercise.”

“Maybe you could give it a go.” Jack patted Pacey's stomach as he stood beside him. “A little exercise would do you good.”

“Oh no. No, the day you see me running will be the day something big and scary is chasing me.” Pacey hovered above him with a pancake resting expertly on the edge of a spatula. “Pancake ?”

“Hit me.” Jack looked down at his plate as his breakfast arrived. “I wasn't joking though, Pace. You’re starting to look a little cuddly and maybe you want to do something about it before a little muffin top becomes a middle-aged spare tire.”

“Ladies love cuddly, it gives them a little something to hold onto.”

“And where see all, these ladies, Dad?” Mikey asked. “Because I dint see a queue outside.”

“Did nobody ever tell you that it’s a very bad idea to insult the guy who cooks all of your food?”

“I gotta take a shower.” Mikey said quickly, grabbing his breakfast to take with him. 

“You okay Dylan?” Jack asks. “everything going okay with you?”

“Yeah, its fine.”

“Did you tell your dad the news about debate?”

“No. Not yet.”

“What news?” Pacey asked

“It doesn’t matter.” Dylan stood up quickly, picking his bag up from beside the door. “I'm going to make an early start.”

“It’s only eight o'clock,”

“Yeah, well, I’ll take a long route.”

Dylan threw his bag over his shoulder and darted out the door, only to be stopped by his father on the last step, pulling him back by his shoulder. 

“What?” he turned around. “Am I not allowed a walk?”

“Are you okay?” Pacey asked. 

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“Look, i get that pop-pop was a less than perfect Dad when you were my age, but you don’t need to make up for it by overcompensating.”

“Overcompensating?”

“I don’t need to tell you every little thing about my life.”

“I didn’t--"

“I’m fine, okay Dad, okay? I’m not going to punch anyone else, I’m not going to get a drinking problem or a drug habit, I’m probably not even going to stay out later than ten o’clock so there’s no need to worry about me. I’m fine and when everything is not fine then i promise i will let you know, okay?”

“Dylan—”

“I’ll see you later.”

Pacey watched him go, walking so quickly that he almost broke out into a run. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.

“Teenagers huh?” Jack appeared beside him, draping an arm around his shoulder. “Thanks for breakfast,”

“Were we this bad?” Pacey asked.

“Worse.” Jack chuckled. “And you were definitely far, far worse.”

“You're right about that.”

“And i gotta tell ya Pace, its going to get harder. Two teenage boys with your DNA? That’s not gonna be an easy ride.”   
**********

Joey groaned as she woke; the throbbing in her head was making her feel physically sick and judging by the taste in her mouth it wasn't a new thing. She looked around at her surroundings and furrowed her brow; the last she recalled she had been outside lying flat on her back, but that wasn’t where she had awoken. The familiar surroundings of her bedroom became apparent as she managed to focus and she pulled the sheet around herself. The clothes she had been wearing had been removed and Joey found herself as bare as the day she was born. She felt herself being pulled back into an embrace, her husbands arm wrapped around her waist. The nausea returned when he kissed her neck and her skin felt like something underneath it was crawling.

“I made you pancakes,” David said softly. “Your favourite.”

“Right.” Joey put her hand to her head, feeling the open wound in her forehead; it had stopped bleeding and she could feel the dried blood crumble under her fingers. “That that makes up for everything.”

“I’m sorry about last night.” He kissed her neck again and Joey recoiled a little. “Things got out of hand.”

“I’m kinda sick of hearing that, David.” 

“I know. But you know how much I hate you talking to him behind my back.”

“I wasn’t doing it behind your back.”

“It seemed secretive to me,” he explained. “It was the middle or the night. Forgive me for thinking it felt a little like you were sneaking off to speak to him.”

“How did I get back here?” Joey asked. “The last thing I remember, I was outside.”

“Well, you knocked your head and passed out for a bit.”

“You mean you knocked me out?” Joey asked, her voice cracking. “You hit me and knocked me out, David. Let's at least be honest.”

“I didn’t mean to.” David pulled her towards him. “I just wanted to scare you a little it, but you fell backwards and hit your head.”

“You could’ve killed me.” 

“I went straight back to check on you after I had settled Sasha. You were out cold, so I came back and carried you upstairs. You looked so beautiful just lying there.” He pressed a kiss against her neck. 

“Did you--" Joey tried to move away from him, but his grip was too strong and the nausea was getting hard to control. Her stomach churned uncomfortable, bile rising in her throat; she closed her eyes and felt the heat burn until aa tear found it’s way down her cheek. “Scrap that, I don’t think I want to know.”

“We made love.” He whispered. 

“Is that what you call it?”

“Were married, what else would it be?”

“I have a few alternatives and the word love doesn’t come into it.”

“I didn't have a choice.” He kissed her cheek. ”How are we ever going to have another baby if you wont let me near you?”

“That doesn’t mean you can just—”

“You’re my wife, did you forget?” David’s tone changed and his grip around her tightened.

“As if I could.”

“You should be more appreciative,” he said. “Not many people would love you like I do. You're a very difficult woman.”

“I need to take a shower,” she said. “If that is okay with you.”

“I’m taking Sasha out to ride her bike for a while, it’ll give you a chance to shower and fix yourself up a little bit.” David climbed out of bed and pulled on his underwear. “You look a mess.”

“I think i need to go and get checked out. My head feels like it might need stitches and I feel really dizzy.” Joey sat up in bed, wrapping herself in the sheet to hide as much as she could from him. “And sick.”

“Concussion probably, you’ll be fine I promise.” He leaned over to kiss her head. “I’ll take your keys with me just in case you think about going anywhere without me. Nobody needs to see you looking like this today.”

“We wouldn't want anyone to ask any questions, right?”

“Right.” David walked towards the door, then stopped and turned back to pick up her phone from the nightstand. “You don’t need to call anyone either, so i’ll take this with me, too.”

Once he moved away and left the room, Joey let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She sat up in bed for a while, listening to the sounds of the house as he carried on like normal; she waited a while until she heard the front door slam shut before getting out of bed. The dizziness in her head forced her to cling to the wall in the way down the stairs. She couldn’t feel where her feet were going and the whole world seemed to spin around her. When she reached the bottom of the stairs Joey stumbled into the kitchen and found the sink, emptying the contents of her stomach down the drain. 

Steadying herself against the counter, Joey turned around and opened one of the cupboards; she found the old tea jar and dug down deep enough to reach the stash of loose pills at the bottom, then took one, swallowing it dry. If David thought she was bringing another child into their wreck of a marriage, then he had another think coming.

********

Pacey knocked on the door of the Potter B&B and waited for an answer; Joy held onto him tightly with one arm around his neck , leaning forward to press the button with her free hand. Bessie answered and smiled, immediately holding her hands out to grab her great niece.

“Hi cutie,” She cooed. “Look how tall you’re getting!”

“I’ve actually been this tall for a while Bess, but thanks.” Pacey smiled.

“You know i meant Joy.” Bessie hit him on the shoulder lightly, then led the way into the house. “What do I owe this pleasure?”

“I just came to see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine.” Bessie flopped down on the couch. “I was just about to see if i could find the energy to go and make some beds up for the guests arriving this afternoon, then find some more to tackle the laundry.” 

“I can send Lucy over to help with the laundry later and I don’t mind making those beds for you.”

“Pacey, you don’t have to do that. I can manage, really.”

“Pacey Witter resident handyman, maid, cook and general dogsbody at your service,’ 

“That would be a help.” Bessie smiled thankfully, looking up at him from the couch. “Thank you.”

“I also brought you some soup.” Pacey put a large paper bag on the table and sat down beside her. “Well, it’s a lot of soup actually. They’re small portions in case you don’t feel like eating and full of a lot of good stuff.”

“You made me soup?”

“Yeah, I used to make it for Gretchen when she was—“Paceys words trailed off and he avoided Bessie’s gaze for a moment. “Y’know when she was –"

“Dying?” Bessie filled in the gap for him and took his hand. 

“Sick,” Pacey corrected. “I made it for her when she was sick and she said it helped with the effects of the chemotherapy.”

“Well I’m sure it will help me too.”

“Things will be different for you,” Pacey told her. “The chemo will work for you I know it.”

“We’ll see.”

“You’re not going to die” Pacey reassured her. “You’re not. You’re too young for all that and—”

“Older than your sister, older than my mom.”

“Yeah, well.. I’ve just decided that its not an option because I can’t lose anyone else this year. My grief quota has been filled, so it’s not really an option for you.”

Bessie put joy down on the couch and walked over to him as he started to unpack the soup in the kitchen. “Come here.”

“Nah I—” Pacey shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“I said Come here.” Bessie pulled him into a hug. “You have got to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders Pacey. I know they’re strong shoulders, but they do have a limit.”

“I just can’t let them get any weaker, I don’t have that luxury right now, Bessie.”

“Well, my burdens don’t belong on your shoulders pacey. You married my sister, not me.”

“You’re still family.”

“Well, I thank you anyway. Family is something that I seem to be quite thin on these days.”

Pacey broke the embrace. “Does Joey know?”

“No.” Bessie started to pack the soup into the refrigerator. “I haven’t talked to Joey in months, not for longer than five minutes and five minutes isn’t really long enough to tell your sister that you might not be here in a year, or six months, or even three.”

“You have to tell her.”

“Do I?” Bessie asked. “Really?”

“Yes and she’s visiting next week, so that’s the perfect opportunity.”

“She says she’s coming, but is she really?” Bessie asked cynically. “Because we’ve been here before.”

“I think she might actually be leaving the scumbag.” 

“That’s not going to happen.”

“I could be wrong, but she sounded like a woman with a plan when i spoke to her this morning.” Pacey Shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair then leaned on it. “She sounded really unhappy.”

“Did you tell the kids?”

“No. I’ll tell them when she arrives, if she arrives. They don’t need any more empty promises.”

“Do you think that maybe you’re just telling yourself that she’s unhappy and planning to leave him because you think if she did there might be some hope for you two?” she asked. “Romantically?”

“NO.” Pacey shook his head vehemently. “No, that bridge is beyond burned. I just want to see her Bessie, I want her to save her relationship with the kids before its beyond repair and I need for her to be happy.”

“So, if you don’t think that there’s any chance of rekindling that fire, why is a good looking, charming, successful guy like yourself still so eternally single?”

“I’m not looking for anything right now, I’ve got too much going on for that.”

“I know people.” she smiled. “I know at least three women who are perfect for you.”

“I think i’ll go find that bed linen.” Pacey said, rolling up his sleeves. “Those beds aren’t going to make themselves.”

“Stop avoiding.” Bessie picked Joy up and followed him to the linen store.

“I’m not.”

“I think you are.”

“I don’t need to be set up,” he told her, walking away from the conversation. “If wanted a woman i could find one myself.”

“My friend Susan—”

“Nope.” 

“She’s very pretty, she’s smart and she’s got a great sense of humour,” Bessie promised. “She’s perfect for you.”

“No thanks.”

“Or my friend—”

“Nope.” Pacey turned to his sister in law. “Stop it.”

“I want you to have some companionship, pacey.” Bessie pulled him to a stop. “And if i have to make it my dying wish.”

“You don’t get a dying wish because you’re not dying, Bessie.” 

“Just admit that you’re not over her.” Bessie watched him from the doorway.

“Okay.” Pacey sighed heavily “So i admit that I might be having the tiniest of issues with moving on and the thought of her coming back, even temporarily, makes me happier than I’ve been in a while.”

“So, you’re not over her?”

“Of course not. You don’t get over Josephine Potter,” he said. “You just crack on with your life with a broken heart and try not to cry into your coffee every morning. Eventually you just resign to the fact that she chose the other guy.”

“Its not choosing if she never got the option”

“I gave her the option.” Pacey sighed, concentrating a little too hard on smoothing out a pillow. “On her wedding day. I asked and she said no, so she most definitely did choose the other guy.”

“You never told me that.”

“Well, you never asked, did ya Potter senior?” He breezed past her, moving onto the next room to start an another bed.

“You asked her to leave him on her wedding day?!” Bessie placed Joy carefully in the playpen in the hallway and charged through the door in pursuit. ”Even for you that’s a bold romantic move.”

“Well, it was the last one I ever did and it certainly didn’t pay off, did it? Pacey Witter goes to love of his life, broken heart in hand and has it given back to him more broken then when he offered it. Now, that’s a story worthy of a Dawson Leery movie production right there.”

“I don’t know if this matters Pacey, but I don’t think Joey’s heart was exactly in one piece either.”

“And whose fault is that?” he asked. “Mine. Me, I broke her heart and I deserve mine to be shattered to dust.”

“Nobody deserves that.”

“I do,” he said. “I self destructed at the worst time and—”

“You lost a child Pacey.” Bessie put her hand on his shoulder and turned him around. “You lost a beautiful—”

“Please don’t.” Pacey pleaded 

“You lost Kate and it broke you, both of you and all of us.”

“I mean it.” Pacey’s voice broke a little, his head dropping to his chest. It had been so long since he had heard his daughters name spoken out loud. “Please don’t make me talk about her because I can’t.”

“Listen to me.” Bessie pushed him down by his shoulders until he was sitting on the bed in front of her. “I’m your sister, maybe not by blood but I have always considered you my dorky little brother and I love you. I won’t just stand here and see you hurt without at least trying to help.”

Pacey reached out and took her hand. “Thank you, but I think i’m beyond it.”

“Look at me,” she demanded. ”Pacey, just look at me?”

Pacey took a deep breath and did as he was instructed. “What?”

“You and Joey lost a child and you both self destructed in totally different ways and yeah, maybe what you did was reckless and hurtful and definitely the wrong thing, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to have a broken heart forever.”

“So what do you propose I do?” he asked. “You want me to call your hot friend Susan, I’ll call her if that’s what you want.”

“Call Joey.”

“I can’t.”

“Call her and tell her that you miss her and love her and if she was considering making a change in her life which involved spending more time in Capeside, that it would make you happy. Let her know that there would be something worth sticking around for.”

“Such as?”

“Well that’s not for me to decide.” 

“ Nor me.”

“But you can give her an option, cant you?” Bessie pressed a kiss against his head and ruffled his hair. “Just make the call.”


	7. chapter 7

Rewind. chapter 7

Joey sat at the kitchen table and stared at her laptop. The dizziness had finally started to fade and the nausea was gone, but she found herself restless. She opened up the folder on her desktop dedicated to ongoing freelance work and stared at it. It was hard to concentrate and she wasn’t entirely sure she was doing her best work, but it was something to take her mind off the only thing she had been thinking about all day. Joey needed to get out of her marriage, she needed to get out of Boston and she needed to do it soon. She ran a hand through her hair and rested her chin on the palm of her hand as she read through the initial draft of what she was starting to realise was a really awful novella. The familiar sound of the door slamming shut broke her concentration and she heard Sasha as she ran through to the kitchen.

“Did you have good time?” Joey found a smile for her daughter, reaching out to stroke the ends of her hair. 

“Yeah, we went for pizza.”

“Sounds fun, did you bring me any?”

“Nope.” Sasha giggled. “ I ate it.”

“All of it?”

“Yeah.” Sasha pulled up her shirt to bare her stomach. “See?”

“Oh yeah, that’s a lot of pizza in there!” Joey smiled, poking he daughters stomach. “Did you eat ice cream too, because I swear I see some in there?

“Yep.”

“Oh, well that sounds like a good day out.” She smoothed down Sash’s t-shirt and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “Did you ride your bike?”

“It’s too hard.” Sasha sighed and pulled herself up onto a seat beside her mother. “I don’t think I want training wheels off anymore.”

“Well you gotta do it sometime or all the boys will make fun of you, believe me I know.”

”That’s okay, I’ll just sock ‘em in the jaw.”

“But that’s not nice.”

“Daddy said I could.” Sasha shrugged. “He said that if I show them who’s boss then they wont laugh at me.”

“It still isn’t nice.”

“What did you do?” Sasha pointed at her mothers head, poking the wound on her temple. “You gotta stop being mean to daddy.”

“What?”

“Well, if you’re nice to him he won’t hit you and you can be pretty again,” Sasha said simply. 

“Yeah, I should do that.” Joey took a deep breath, trying to hold back her sadness.

Sasha Coopland looked just like her mother; she had all the trademark Potter characteristics. Dark hair, full lips, classic lopsided smile and her large almond eyes were just like her mothers, only blue. Had it not been for that tiny detail, Joey could’ve sworn she was looking into a mirror. She was four years old and smarter that the average child, nothing got past her. Nothing.

“Sasha, why don’t you go upstairs and put on your pyjamas.” David suggested, dropping a kiss into her hair. 

“It’s not bedtime yet,” Sasha protested, her lips falling into a deep pout.

“No, but Mommy isn’t feeling to well so we’re all going to get into our pyjamas, cuddle up with her on the couch and watch a movie tonight to make her feel better.”

“Can we watch ET?” She asked expectantly.

“If we must.”

“Okay.” Her smile returned and she bounded out the door and up the stairs.

“She picks up everything, doesn’t she?” Joey asked. “She doesn’t miss a beat.”

“She’s a smart girl, although she has no patience when it comes to bike riding.”

”Didn’t manage then?” Joey asked.

“No, but we’ll get there.” David walked over to the kitchen door and shut it, then stood at Joeys side, looking down at her for a moment. “I had an interesting day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I just have something to ask you.”

“What’s that?” Joey stared ahead at the computer screen.

“Do you have something you want to tell me?” He asked, smoothing his hand down her hair. “Anything at all?”

“I don’t think so, I haven’t had a particularly interesting day locked in the house, unable to talk to anyone or do anything. So no, nothing new surprisingly.”

“I see.” David slammed the laptop shut, narrowly missing Joey’s fingers, then pulled her hair until her head snapped back as far as it would go. He looked down into her eyes. “You must think I’m pretty stupid, huh?”

“I don’t—”

“We have no secrets, huh?”

“You’re hurting me,” joey managed. 

“Then you shouldn’t keep secrets.” David released her, pushing her away until she almost fell off the chair. He took her phone out of his pocket and dialled the voicemail, then placed it on speaker and threw it down at the table. 

“Whats this?”

“You had a phone call, but you missed it so they left a message.”

“Hey Potter , it’s just me---” the sound of Pacey’s voice came though the speaker. ”I was just calling to talk to you in more sociable hours, but I guess the universe has other ideas which means i’m reduced to leaving a really weird message on your machine which you may or may not even listen to. I just want you to know that I’m really happy you’re coming out next weekend. It just seems so long since I’ve seen your face y’know and I—well, I miss you and we all miss you, but I particularly miss you every day and it will be so good to have you here. I haven’t told the kids yet just in case it doesn’t come to fruition, but I know they’ll be really excited to see you because they love you and--” Pacey sighed deeply, then paused a moment. “Well, I love you, but you know that already, right? And if you’re unhappy, if you need time out, I’m here and there’s so much here for you if you want it. And I just hope that David calmed down a little after he spoke to me last night and he didn’t give you too much hassle. I mean, he sounded like he needed to take a pill or something, y’know something to get that stick out of his ass. So, in conclusion we love you, we all miss you and I cannot wait to see you...oh yeah, and David is an ass.” 

Silence fell on the room for a moment. Joey looked at the phone and closed her eyes, waiting for the fallout.

“Cute, huh?” David said. “How heart warming, don’t you think?”

“I—I---” Joey faltered, unable to speak.

David leaned on the refrigerator, his arms folded. “You’ve been making plans with loverboy behind my back?”

“No, I--”

“Do I look like an idiot to you?!” David shoved the table away until Joey was sitting on her own, her eyes still squeezed shut. 

“I was going to tell you.” Joey lied. “I just didn’t get the chance before—"

“Is that what you two do, you make sneaky plans about talk shit about me behind my back?”

“No—” Joey stiffened when she felt David’s hands either side of the chair, blocking her in. She could feel his warm breath against her skin and it made her want to be sick. If she opened her eyes she knew he would be there, eyes cold, jaw set and he would be able to see the fear. She kept her eyes tightly shut, hoping that if she said nothing he would walk away. 

“You’re not going to Capeside this weekend so you can just call him and cancel.” His voice was strangely calm, almost a whisper.

“I need to see my kids some time, David.”

“No you don’t.”

“I miss them.” The heat rose in her eyes behind her eyelids. “You cant keep on stopping me from seeing my kids, I miss them so much.”

“Or you miss him?”

“David—” She tried, weakly.

“Do you miss him?” David put her hands over Joey’s wrists and held them there tightly, his knuckles turning white. She still hadn’t opened her eyes, but he could see her eyelashes were wet. “Hmm? Is that why little Joey is crying, because she misses him? Hmm?”

“He’s one of my best friends.”

“Do you miss him?” His voice remained calm, but the grip on her hands got tighter.

“Yea, okay I do. I miss him.” Joey finally opened her eyes to look at him. “Is that what you want to hear, will that make you feel better if I gave you the excuse that you’re looking for?” Joey twisted her hands out of his grasp, managing to push the chair away with her feet to distance him. She stood up and stared at her husband. 

“I see.”

“I miss being around someone who doesn’t make me feel sick to my stomach every minute of every day.”

“I make you feel sick, huh?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t know if it’s because you hit so me so often that I’ve got a constant concussion, or if my body just feels sick because you disgust me so much that bile rises, but I hate you and you make me sick.”

“You don’t hate me.” David walked towards her, backing her up towards the kitchen bench before blocking her in with his arms. “You love me or you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m only here because you lock me inside my own house!” She shoved him backwards. “I mean, who does that? Who locks their own wife inside their own house just to make sure she can’t leave him?”

“That’s not—” David let her push him back.

“I’m sick of this life David and I’m really sick of you.” She pushed him back further with a hard shove. “Pacey never hit me the whole time we were together, not once. In fact I’m pretty sure it didn’t even cross his mind, but for you it just seems like some sick compulsion to do it, like a twisted little hobby!”

“A Hobby?” He asked calmly

“Yeah, a hobby.”

“Really?” He put her hands on her shoulders and pushed her back towards the refrigerator. “Really?!”

“Yeah. To make you feel strong, like a real man, like somehow you feel like making my life hell makes you powerful and manly. Well you’re not. And I’m telling you now that he is ten times the man you are without even having to try!”

“You’re gonna want to be careful wit that mouth of yours or you might find it missing a few teeth.” He pushed her until her back until she hit the refrigerator with a thud. 

“He is ten time the man you are,” Joey repeated slowly, her eyes fixed on his. “And he did that without ever having to lift a finger. And do you know why he is so much better than you?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” He put his hand around her throat and held her still. “Is it because he loves you or something, is that what you think?”

“No, it’s because he is good and you are not!” She took his hand away from her throat without a fight and attempted to duck away from his hold; she quickly found herself pushed back again.” I wish I had never left Capeside to come here to live in this prison with you as my only cellmate!”

“So you’re sick of this life?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“And you want out of this life, this life with me?”

“Yeah.”

David let her go and took a few steps back. “So, what? You want a divorce or something?”

“That’s exactly what I want. I want this marriage to end because it is toxic and bad for the both of us, it’s even worse for Sasha because no child should have to see love represented this way.”

“And you think that Sainted Pacey of Capeside, perfect Pacey who can’t keep his dick in his pants, you think that’s going to show her about love?”

“Maybe then she’d be able to see what a real man looked like.”

David snapped, taking a step towards her to grab her by the neck of her t-shirt. He pulled her towards him and stared at her for a moment; the fear in her eyes he had been expecting was gone. He raised his arm and hit her hard, his fist crushing into the side of her face, then watched her fall, before grabbing her again, dragging her back up. He pinned her against the wall, his fist poised for another blow. “Take that back.”

“No.”

“I am warning you.” He tightened his grip.

“You’re no man.” Joey looked him in the eyes. “You’re a scared little boy who thinks that hitting his wife will scare her enough to make her stay, well I will never be that scared that I will not subject my daughter to this life.”

“He doesn’t love you like I do.”

“Good.” Joey pushed him away forcefully. “If this is how you love then I wouldn’t like to see what your version of hate looks like.”

“He broke your heart, you said that and you’re going to run back to him?” David didn’t move towards her, instead he just stood still with his arms hanging loosely at his side. For the first time David had fear in his eyes.

“I’m not leaving you to run back into his arms and reconcile, I just don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m not leaving you for him, i’m leaving you for me!”

“You won’t leave me.” 

“I’m done with this relationship. I’m sick of being your punch-bag and it stops today.”

“Well if you just shut up and did what i asked you to, then you wouldn’t have any of these problems.” He stepped towards her, and put his finger under her chin, gently raising her face to look at him. “ I only hit you when you deserve it, you just happen to deserve it a lot of the time. We can turn this around if you just start to do what I ask.”

“You can’t honestly be so crazy that you think I would believe that this is my fault?” Joey put her hand on his cheek. 

“But it is.”  
“You need to get some help, someone to help you see that the way you process your thoughts is distorted and wrong.”

“I don’t need the help.” David pulled her forehead to rest against his. “I just need you.”

“Look at what you’ve done to me?” Joey asked. “You’ve beaten me, strangled me, stomped on me, broken bones and you ra—you’ve abused me. Why would i stay?”

“I love you.” 

“You don’t love me David, you love to control me and life doesn’t work that way.” She pushed him away. I refuse to be controlled by fear, i miss the feeling of love and that is something you cannot and will never give me because I genuinely don’t think you know how.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t.” Joey took some steps towards him. “I used to love you, I loved you so much that I moved away from my whole family for you, but now I can’t see that guy anymore in your eyes. I don’t love you David, I actually despise you because you’ve become your father and I’ve become your mother. If I don’t go then Sasha will become you and nothing would break my heart more than that.” Joey’ wiped a tear away from her eyes stubbornly. 

“I won’t let you go.” 

“I’m leaving you!”

“NO.”

Joey walked over to his jacket that hung beside the back door and found her keys in his pocket. “I’m taking Sasha, then I’m going to the police and telling them everything you have done to me in the past four years. I’m going to make sure that you never see our daughter again. Then I’m filing for divorce, which is something I should have done way befo—” Joey froze. The feeling of something sharp pressing against her back rendered her paralysed.

“Did you finish your speech, or was there more?”

“What ae you doing?” Joey didn’t move

David wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back and moved the knife to her throat. “You can leave, but you leave without her.”

“I’ll never do that.” 

“Then you’ll never leave.” He pressed the blade flat against her neck and kissed her cheek. “I can’t let you leave me, do you understand?”

“David.” Joey raised her hands to his arm and grabbed into it, she swallowed hard and felt the blade cut into her a little. “Think about what you’re doing, Sasha could come down any minute. Is this how you want her to see her father?”

“It’s how I saw mine.”

“And remember what that did to you?” Joey’s fearful tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheek. “You didn’t forget it, it damaged you,”

“We’re all damaged, sweetheart.”

“Just—” Joey’s breath caught a little. “Just step back okay?

“I know you think wouldn’t do it, but I would.” He promised. “I don’t want to, but I will if you try to walk out that door.”

“You need to let me go and then we can talk.”

“We can talk now.” 

“We can’t talk if I can’t see your face. Why don’t you put the knife down and we can sit down and talk face to face?”

“Face to face huh?” David walked slowly backwards, taking Joey with him. He opened the door and walked back until he got to the hallway and looked at her through the mirror. “Is his better?”

“I want you to put it down, okay?” Joey asked. 

“You’re scared, I can tell.”

“Of course I’m scared, you have a knife to my throat.” Joey’s voice shook uneasily as her eyes met his in the mirror; she had expected to see the same sadness she had witnessed in the kitchen, or maybe fear, but she was wrong. All she could see was ice.

“Now you can leave this marriage, but you leave it in in a box.” He turned the knife until the blade pressed against her skin and Joey’s body shook against him, her breath rapid and uneven. “Do you want to leave in a box, Josephine?” 

“David—”

“Yes, or no answers. You talk too much.” He pushed the blade further until he could see an indentation. “Do you want to leave in a box?”

“No.”

“Good.” He smiled a little. “I’m glad we’re having this his conversation, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Joey’s voice broke. “So you can let me go now.”

“First, you’re going to call Pacey and tell him that you’re not coming this weekend and while you’re at it you’re going to tell him that you don’t love him because he needs to hear that.”

“Please—”

“Because you don’t love him, do you?” he pressed the blade a little further into her. 

“Of course i don’t.”

“Because you love me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I want to hear you say it.” He spoke close to her ear, holding her tightly against him, pushing her neck back with the blade of the knife. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek. “So after you call him we’re going to sit down in the family room with Sasha and watch some movies, okay?”

“Okay.” She swallowed hard. “That sounds really nice.”

“Good.” 

David lowered the knife and Joey felt her knees shake, only David’s arms kept her from falling. He turned her around and kissed her lips softly. 

“I’ll watch you make the call,” he said. “And I’ll keep this close by in case you decide to change the script. “

“Don’t make me—"

He pressed the point of the blade under her chin and she froze in fear. “Make no mistake. I will slash your throat if you try and leave me again, do you believe me?”

“ I do, i believe you.”

“Until death do us part?” He lowered the knife and pressed his forehead against hers. 

“I think so.”


End file.
